Pickled crackers and marinated kale—what is the world coming to?

 

Marinate kale with salmon
Oops, I had eaten most of it before I remembered to take a picture.

Normally I would breeze right by recipes like these two. My mom used to crumble saltines into hot milk with butter when we were sick, and, yes, they got soggy. She also crumbled them into a can of diced tomatoes and that is comfort food to me to this day. But the crackers were soggy. So how could you pickle them? Nonetheless I tried this recipe one night when Subie and Phil were coming over—she particularly likes pickles. I cut this recipe in half, mostly because the whole recipe calls for so much olive oil:

Pickled crackers

1-1/2 cups olive oil

½ tsp. onion powder

1 tsp. garlic powder

1 pkg. ranch seasoning mix

1 Tbsp. dill pickle juice

1 Tbsp. dried dill

1 (11 oz.) box mini saltines

Combine everything but the saltines in a Ziploc bag. Close and gently shake to mix ingredients thoroughly. Add the saltines, close again, and gently turn the bag to be sure all the crackers are covered with the marinade.

Arrange the crackers on a rimmed baking sheet and bake at 250^o for about 15 or 20 minutes, until the crackers are golden brown, and the oil is absorbed.

We liked these a lot, but we thought the pickle flavor was a bit mild. If making a half recipe again, I would double the pickle juice and dried dill and be sure to mix the ingredients more thoroughly. Also I couldn’t find mini saltines and used standard size, which may have made a difference in how they were coated with the marinade. I’ll look for mini again next time.

 

Marinated kale salmon salad

The first time I had kale, it was fried—light, airy, it kind of fizzed away in my mouth. But then I tasted kale in salads and was instantly sure I didn’t like it. I was of the school that believed if you add a little coconut oil to the skillet with the kale, it’s easier to throw it in the trash. But the recipe got me, mostly because it has lots of lemon and salmon. The recipe comes from Julia Pizzolato, an independent marketing consultant and also a terrific cook who posts recipes once a week. (Side note: Julia lives in Palm Springs, but she used to live in Austin and before that she lived in the garage apartment next door to me.) She credits this dish to the True Food restaurant in Austin.

2 bunches kale, stems removed, washed, and chopped into shreds

Ingredients:

½ cup olive oil

¼ cup freshly squeezed lemon juice

3 garlic cloves, minced

½ tsp. kosher salt

Pinch of red pepper flakes

½ cup good Parmesan or Pecorino cheese finely grated

2 Tbsp. lightly toasted breadcrumbs

Some cautions: This is best if you start it hours before you want to eat.

Julia used fresh, roast salmon; I have that good, canned salmon that comes straight from Alaska, and I substituted that. Your choice.

Be sure to get curly leaf kale, baby if you can find it, but not the straight leaf stuff. And even if it says pre-washed, wash it again. When I ordered two bunches, I got huge bunches and only used one.

Be sure to use freshly squeezed lemon juice—no substitutes.

Mix the dressing ingredients in a bowl and whisk thoroughly. Pour over kale, toss well, and stir gently until the kale begins to soften. Let the kale sit, covered, on the counter for at least one hour and preferably six or overnight in the refrigerator. This long marinating time is essential to the recipe.

To serve, toss the kale with the breadcrumbs and cheese; Top with salmon and sprinkle with more cheese if you like.

Trust me, this was delicious. Jordan, Jean, and I ate heartily and still had leftovers, but it did not keep well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gourmet on a Hot Plate

Wishes everyone

A bountiful and blessed

Thanksgiving.

 

 

 

 

 

I’ll be back next with recipes

As we rush toward Christmas.

The Story of Charlie

 

Charlie at four weeks,
when he was rescued

After years of both Christian and me saying, “No more cats,” a kitten lives in the family room in the main house. Jordan was visiting at a neighbor’s lake house, and the two of them found an apparently feral kitten, probably about four weeks old. Far too young to survive on its own. They brought it inside, gave it milk, and decided to co-parent. There was no sign of the momma, though in later days they did see other kittens. None were as lucky as Charlie to be adopted.

Since Christian really didn’t want a cat and since they already had Cricket, the remaining Cavalier Spaniel, the kitten went to live with the neighbors. Jordan made regular trips to feed, play, and love. When the kitten was about ten weeks old, the neighbors decided it was time for it to be an outdoor cat. Even I, not particularly a cat lover, know that the survival statistics for outdoor cats are pretty grim: an average life span of three years as opposed to fifteen or more for an indoor cat. At ten weeks, the poor thing was doomed, and Jordan of course couldn’t stand that. I’ll never know what she said to Christian, but the kitten, still unnamed, came to live in our compound.

The first order of business was to find the kitten a name. Charlie seemed to fit, for whatever reason. For now, he periodically gets the run of the house but for the most part is confined to the family room, an add-on that sprawls across the back of the house. Jordan spends time loving on him, playing with him, and so on. Jacob, who has a perfectly good bed in his adjacent bedroom, chooses to sleep on the wrap-around couch in the family room—and then complains the kitten wakes him up. When he’s past kitten stage, Charlie will have the run of the house.

A bit of an explanation here: Jordan has always loved kittens. Me, not so much, though I had one cat, Wynona Judley (commonly known as Wywy) that I adored. Christian says he had cats growing up, but I think his first real experience came with the cat Jordan bought ($5 at a pet store) when she was in middle school. Pardon my French but Graffiti was the cat from hell. She peed everywhere, in obvious defiance—sometimes right in front of you. I spent hundreds of dollars reupholstering furniture and even then our house smelled of cat pee. When I found myself living alone with Graffiti and Wywy I banished Grafitti to the guest house, which was empty, so she lived alone; Jordan came to visit, and I made her pay a monthly fee for the a/c to keep the cat cool (give me credit: I was trying to teach responsibility). I was also honestly at the end of my cat rope. Graffiti ended her long life living in the bathroom in Jordan and Christian’s first apartment. She died one night where she was happiest: sleeping on the floor next to Jordan. The details of what ensued after her death are hilarious, a story for another time. But that background is why I was not enthusiastic about a kitten, and I was amazed that Christian acquiesced as easily as he did. I think that boy really loves my daughter.

Charlie has been once to the cottage, a complicated maneuver in which Christian kept Sophie in the house. Sophie has demonstrated, in various veterinary trips, that she hates cats, and I see no reason to bring him out here again. Sophie knows where he is, and it bugs her. Jordan has put paper across the lower panels of the windows in the back door, but that’s an exercise in futility. The vet tells us Sophie is blind, so it’s not vision that tells her a cat is in there. It’s instinct, hearing, and smell. Some days I can see Charlie from my desk, sitting in the window, surveying that world he cannot be part of. Once I saw him stalking Sophie.

Charlie at three months

I suspect Charlie will outlast me as a resident of the Alter/Burton compound. And that’s okay with me. I wish him no harm. I’m just not intrigued. But I have to redeem myself with the many cat lovers among my friends: I absolutely adored Wywy, the cat Jamie found as a kitten abandoned on a roadside in Minnesota (do not ask what he was doing there). For the first year of his life, we thought he was female; after the vet corrected us (another hilarious story), Wywy lived a life of gender confusion. Today’s aggressive Christians would have had a field day had they known of his transition. We like to believe Wywy was part Maine Coon—he was big, with a fluffy gray coat and a wonderful full tail. But beyond that he was sweet and affectionate, and I loved him dearly. Wywy was helped over the Rainbow Bridge at the age of nineteen, when he was truly miserable and trying to sneak off to the back of a closet to die. He holds a special place in my heart yet.

Wywy on my desk
helping me work

I am ambivalent about Charlie. I’ll never feel about him the way I did about Wywy, but Charlie and I haven’t crossed paths much and probably won’t. Meantime he makes Jordan happy. She loves him. Who am I to quibble. You know what? He’s kind of cute when he stares out the window. I think he’s looking straight at me and trying to win me over.

 

Some retro happy hour ideas

 

Football and tailgating aren’t the only reasons that happy hour is such an easy way to entertain in the fall. It has to do with crisp cool afternoons and the new energy that fall and the start of the year brings. Lately I find I have all sorts of ideas for appetizers and snacks, some of them recipes I’ve resurrected from long ago.

Take for instance Jezebel sauce, a sweet and spicy sauce—yes, it gets its name from the Biblical woman. Years ago when I had huge Christmas parties, I used to serve Jezebel sauce on a brick of cream cheese, but somewhere along the way I lost the recipe I really liked. There are lots of versions of this southern staple online, but I never found one I liked until recently. I think what got me is that the base is apricot preserves—and I love apricot in any version. So here’s what  you do:

Jezebel sauce

Ingredients

1 8 oz. jar apricot preserves

1 Tbsp. Dijon mustard

2-3 Tbsp. horseradish (not the stuff in a cream sauce, but plain horseradish)

Fresh cracked pepper to taste

1 block cream cheese

Crackers for serving.

Mix together the preserves, mustard and horseradish. Pour over cream cheese. Serve with crackers. The Jezebel sauce tends to disappear faster than the crema cheese, so keep a little back to refresh the dish somewhere along the way.

And if you’re serving blocks of cream cheese with topping for an appetizer, don’t forget some people like to top it with Pickapeppa sauce (not me). A real splurge to me is opening a can of flaked crab, spreading it over cream cheese, and tooping with bottled cocktail sauce. Today, you might try using the refrigerated faux crab (Krab). Caution: all these get messy and sticky quickly, so have plenty of napkins and be prepared to refresh the toppings.

Did your mom serve a relish tray for an appetizer or with a big dinner? Mine did, though she was noted for forgetting to put it out because she had so many other dishes. Next day, we’d find it in the outdoor refrigerator. But a staple of any relish tray was stuffed celery. I came across a recipe (who thought you needed a recipe to do that?) the other day and tried it, liked it a lot. Here’s what you need:

Stuffed celery

Ingredients

10 oz. or thereabouts of prepared cheese spread (I used a Pub Cheese from Trader Joe’s, but you could use two 5-oz. jars of Kraft Old English spread

1 heaping Tbsp. mayonnaise

1 tsp. Worcestershire sauce

½ tsp. horseradish

½ Tbsp. dried, minced onion

¼ tsp. cayenne (optional; I omitted it)

½ Tbsp. garlic powder

¼  tsp. celery salt

¼ tsp. black pepper

6-8 celery stalks

2 green onions, minced for garnish

Here’s the big deal: string the celery. Wash each stalk and pat dry, and then peel the strings from the back. Use a vegetable peeler or a paring knife. If you look, you can see the strings—and see when you’ve missed some. This is important, because it’s no fun to bite into a piece of celery and find yourself fighting with long strings.

Mix remaining ingredients except the green onion. You can make a pastry bag by cutting a corner off a bag, filling the baggie with cheese, and squeezing cheese into the inside of each celery stalk. Or you can wing it and spoon it in with an iced tea spoon—I actually used a marrow spoon and it worked great.

Cut each celery stalk into three- or four-inch pieces and place on plate, being sure to keep them upright. Sprinkle with green onion.

Note: The stuffed celery does not keep well, but the cheese spread does. You can also serve it is a spread in a bowl, with celery and crackers on the side. It’s that good, but I was initially attracted by the idea of stuffed celery which I hadn’t seen in years.

Many years ago a friend gave me this recipe for a sliced egg appetizer. I smiled sweetly, thanked her, and thought, “Well, I won’t be doing that.” It just didn’t sound right to me. For some reason, I got around to trying it—and it was not at all what I expected, and was wonderful!

Sliced egg and parsley

Ingredients

2 cloves garlic, peeled

4 Tbsp parsley finely chopped

Salt and pepper

1/8 tsp. paprika

6 Tbsp. olive oil

5 hard-boiled eggs, thinly sliced crosswise

Grated carrot and sliced olives for garnish, according to your taste (that means I never use the olives but I’m wondering what anchovies would do)

Lay out the eggs on a plate and garnish with carrotd, olives, and whatever else you want. Sprinkle with salt. Make a sauce of remaining ingredients and pour over the eggs. Refrigerate until very well chilled. Will keep overnight but not much longer.

Watch for more happy hour recipes next week. It’s the mood I’m in. Salut! Slainte!  Santé! Prost!

Time for football—and the crockpot

Not quite ready for prime time.

Yay! The Texas Rangers finally won the World Series. Much rejoicing—and then it will be time for football. I admit I’m already frustrated on Sunday nights when I want to watch the news and it’s been pre-empted by football, But I’m resigned—I know it’s the American way. And I know that in households across America families will be spellbound by the games—while snacking on some really good food.

It's definitely time to bring out the crockpot and fix some hearty hot dips. I call this one Colin’s Queso because my oldest son just loves it. When my kids were in high school, I used to put corn chips in the bottom of a soup bowl, ladle this dip over it, and call it supper. But it’s also great to put out on the coffee table in the crockpot with a big bowl of chips beside it. Here’s what you do:

Colin’s Queso

1 lb. hamburger

1 lb. sausage (choose mild or hot, according to your taste)

1 lb. Velveeta

1 can cream of mushroom soup

1 16 oz. jar Pace picante sauce (the recipe says no other brand, and I tend to agre—choose mild or hot according to your taste

Brown hamburger and sausage, breaking up the chunks of meat until it is all crumbly. Drain and put in the crockpot. Add Velveeta, cut in chunks, and melt. Add mushroom soup and picante sauce.

Keep sauce hot, even if you have to plug in the crockpot a time or two.

 

Quick and easy queso

Want a quick and easy last-minute queso? Mix equal parts Velveeta and Wolf Brand chili without beans. Serve with chips. I have gone to Boy Scout chili cook-offs where this was served in a bowl, like regular chili. Keep it warm but don’t overcook or the texture gets funky.

Happy football season!