Simplifying charcuterie

 

To me, this is overdone, too crowded.

Six years ago, when I first moved into the cottage, everybody wanted to come for happy hour so they could see my new digs. We had guests every night, and it was fun and, indeed, happy. Jordan and I put out a cutting board with a couple of meat or salami choices and two or three cheeses—a wonderful cheddar with blue cheese layered in or sometimes cheddar from the Cotswolds. We didn’t call it chaucuterie because, if my memory is correct, that term has only become popular since then.

Today, charcuterie boards are all the fashion. There are books about how to do them, and you can take classes in constructing them. Hostesses seem to be in fierce competition to see who can have the most elaborate, the most innovative board. Frankly, I think it’s gotten out of hand. For one thing, those elaborate, overflowing board may be beautiful, but they’re not practical. How do you pull out a piece of cheese or a pickle spear or whatever without touching all the food on the platter? I was raised to believe if you touched it, you ate it. I want a little space between items—and a pickle fork.

If you can shop at a store with a good deli counter, you’ll have a much wider range of choices. You really need three things on your board:

Meat – figure 2 to 3 ounces per person and try for variety of taste and texture. Cured meats are usually used, and pork is traditional, but you can include other meats. Salami is always a good choice—either soft or hard; I like mortadella—a fine, soft Italian meat (think bologna) with little pockets of pork fat; you can use prosciutto, bresaola, chorizo, ham, pepperoni. I love a good pate. Most people think pate is duck or chicken liver and those are most common, but pâté can be made of beef, game, fish, even vegetables. It is usually richly seasoned with herbs, spices, and either wine or brandy. Often, they are made in a loaf or terrine pan, chilled, and sliced. A pate is smooth enough to spread. Ingredients in a terrine are coarsely chopped.

Cheese – again, 2 to 3 ounces per person. Use a soft cheese, like brie, goat cheese (chevre) or camembert – if the cheese will be messy on the board, place it on a small plate or coaster or piece of parchment; add a semi-soft or hard cheese – cheddar, gouda, manchego; to add interest to your board, choose an unusual cheese—like blue or gorgonzola. Slice the cheese before arranging the board—if people have to slice their own pieces, your board will soon be a mess.

Bread – you can hardly go wrong here with anything from lavash to Ritz crackers. Try cocktail rye or baguette slices. Sometimes we use sesame rice crackers but be aware they break easily. Try Melba toast or water wafers. Most groceries have a wide selection of crackers.

Some hosts consider a meat and cheese board ample enough; others like to add fruit and what I call garnishes:

Fruit – grapes are the standby and easiest, but you can do chunks of melon in season, strawberries (halve them if large), figs. Avoid soft fruits, like bananas and raspberries, and blueberries which roll around. You can also offer a tiny pot of jam or chutney. In winter, dried fruits may be your best choice.

Garnishes – again, let your imagination rule. Add anything from cornichons and olives or tapenade to nuts or dips; smoked shellfish or mild white anchovies are nice but put them in a small dish so they don’t touch the non-fishy items. How about tiny cherry tomatoes or pickled onions. Bits of fresh herbs tucked here and there add great eye appeal.

Note: you can do vegan and gluten-free boards if you or a guest have special needs.

Covid really changed our attitude toward charcuterie because we were all so conscious of sanitation. Boards faded from our happy hour about that time, at least in my cottage. You may still be leery of the communal aspect of charcuterie, but there are options: Cone charcuterie is layered in pre-made cones (no, I don’t know where to get them). Some hostesses layer ingredients in small Mason jars, preferably wide-mouth, and call it jarcuterie. Or you can do charcuterie kebabs. With these alternative forms, it might be good to provide small plates and a fork to each guest—or a lot of toothpicks.

The good thing about these boards is that you can tailor them to your taste and the specific situation. Let your imagination run and have fun with it. And take pictures.